It wasn't. And you're probably doing the same thing right now.

It was the winter of 2000. I was a senior in college, flying to Pittsburgh for a full day of interviews with one of the Big Four consulting firms.

First time I'd ever flown to an interview. Someone told me it would be cold. So I went out and got the coat. You know the one. The long black wool coat. The kind the consultants wore in the movies. I had my navy pantsuit, my long black wool coat, and I was ready.

The day went well. I was excited. And then came the last interview with the partner of the practice. It was surprisingly informal. We just talked. About his life, his career, his path.

And then he said something I wasn't expecting. “In this job, you don't get to see your family. You don't get to see your spouse. And if I had to do it all over again, I’m not sure I’ll take this path.”

I got cold feet. I didn’t go the consulting route. I joined a local pharma company instead. More stable. Safer. Sensible.

I called it wisdom.

That was the first time. It wasn't the last.

Summer of 2015. Another crossroads; move to the east coast or take a severance package. My kids were young. We were settled in the Midwest. I took the package and told myself I'd figure it out.

By January 2016 I had the consulting itch again. Got a call from a former boss for a gig. Jumped in. I was having fun again. Doing work I loved and building something. Then the old feeling came back. Stable income. Insurance. What if. I took another off ramp. I found a stable job. Moved to Chicago. Called it being smart.

2024 I finally decided I was finally going to do this. I was thinking through the plan and contemplating the timing. I was working through exit plan, trying to figuring out how to do it with minimal impact to others.

And then I got laid off.

The universe didn't wait for me to be ready. It moved the timeline for me.

Here's what I've learned across 25 years of crossroads.

Cold feet you can feel. It shows up as nerves, avoidance, a knot in your stomach. You know something is off.

Cold logic is harder. It shows up as a perfectly reasonable argument for why now isn't the time. It cites evidence. It sounds responsible. It sounds like someone who has thought through the plan carefully.

For 25 years, my cold logic sounded like this: the kids are young, the timing isn't right, I need the stability, I'll do it after the project wraps, I'll do it when things settle down.

Things don't settle down. The project doesn't wrap. The timing is never right.

The only thing that changes is how many years you've spent waiting.

I'm not telling you to blow up your life. I am telling you to call you own BS.

I'm telling you to look at the stories you've been telling yourself and ask whether they are actually true, or whether you've just gotten very good at writing it.

You'll know the difference. You already do.

Until next Tuesday.